


Ikaw Pa Rin (Ang Pipiliin)

by dokgyunsoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Smut, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, Very Teleserye, ex to lovers, major character development?, on both sides hindi na sila bata omg, parang PHR pocketbook
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:47:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26232928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dokgyunsoo/pseuds/dokgyunsoo
Summary: Kung saan isang gabi lang pala ang kinailangan nila Chanyeol at Baekhyun para malamang hindi sila handa sa lahat ng mga alaalang babalik, after ten years.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 13
Kudos: 187





	Ikaw Pa Rin (Ang Pipiliin)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!! It's me again!! Haha, title of this fic is taken from the song "Sa Susunod na Habang Buhay" by B&B!  
>  _"Ikaw pa rin ang pipiliin kong mahalin, sa susunod na habang buhay."_
> 
> RIP use of ng and nang. Wala akong beta so I apologize for all the mistakes na makikita niyo sa story (from spelling hanggang grammar/verb tenses). Thank you, everyone for clicking agad! 
> 
> For A who would like to remain anonymous, I'm sorry it took so long. Pero thank you pa rin, for always being patient. Ang tagal na talaga nitong stuck at 3k, ilang buwan na rin akong may writing slump... but thank you Trainee!CB for giving me a little nudge POTA KILEG?!?! 
> 
> This was written way back June pa dahil gusto kong umabot sa Buwan ng Wika at hindi man lang ako nakasali sa kahit anong fic fests this year, kaso hindi tayo umabot. Happy Ber months po sa inyong lahat! Bakit ba ako nagpapaliwanag!!! I hope you enjoy all 14k of this, writing this was the perfect distraction para takbuhan ang mga tinatakbuhan ko. 
> 
> Happy Halloween, Merry Christmas (o Happy Holidays!), and Happy New Year po sa inyo!!
> 
> Kunin at tanggapin ang alay na ito.

It’s July, just the usual sunny afternoon— there are large white floral centerpieces that emphasize the place. It was the perfect day to set the mood for a special occasion such as this one. Sandamakmak ang mga bulaklak, kanan at kaliwa. Pretty sure you’d be able to grasp the ambiance, lalo na ang amoy. _Ugh._

Looking back sa lahat ng mga kasalan, one won’t even remember what kind of flowers were perched atop the tables, what colors were present as both partners finally say their vows that would bind them together forever. 

Maalala mo ang mga luhang umagos kasabay ng mensaheng ipinapaabot ng isang matalik na kaibigan, o kaya naman ang isa sa mga ikakasal na halos hindi mai-alis ang matamis na ngiti habang inilalagak ang vows. It was a day you’d want to replay in your head over and over again, relinquish in the emotions na pinaghatian, everything that made the day as enchanted.

Sadly, weddings aren’t for everyone and that’s for sure. 

Tulad na lang natin kay Baekhyun Byun. A few months ago he just turned 30, finally in the socially accepted age for settling down. Not for him, though. He just turned 30, _literally_ celebrated for a few hours at muling bumalik sa trabaho like the overworked Millennial that he is. 

And if may choice siya _right now_ , he’d go anywhere. 

Baekhyun watches himself in the mirror as he places the stray strand of hair that wouldn’t stay in its place. The hairspray has settled in, his hair wispy and neatly brushed. The wedding’s starting in almost, two, no— three hours. Hindi maipaliwanag ni Baekhyun ang nararamdaman niya. 

_Again, if may choice siya, he’d go anywhere._

Just not _here._

Kaya niyang magbigay ng isang mahabang listahan of things he’d rather be doing instead of wearing full-on tuxedos na talaga namang nakakasakal both the literal and figurative sense. But, well _, hindi ganon ‘yun._

Siguro, ten? Pwede ring twelve years ago, kung tatanungin niyo, Baekhyun loved weddings. Keyword: _lovedt_. Mas past pa sa past tense of the word itself. Bakit? Maraming rason, again, kaya niyang magbigay ng isang mahabang listahan of reasons why weddings are overrated. 

Sino ba naman ang hindi naging hopeless romantic teenager? Hindi mo naman masisisi si Baekhyun for being a lovestruck teenager na naniniwala sa soulmates and all that cheesy shit na finefeed sa atin ng media.

Napapa-angat internally ang kaliwang kilay ni Baekhyun. It’s funny how you change over time, no matter how firm ang prinsipyo mo, kapag sinubok ka… _talagang susubukin ka._

“ _There you are!_ ” Isang hingal na boses ang galing mula sa kabubukas lang na pintuan. Kalahati ng katawan nito ay nakasilip lang sa loob ng hotel room. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you, _punyeta ka._ ”

Baekhyun sighs as he looks at himself for the last time sa salamin, meeting the eyes ng kaibigang nakasilip before turning around sa vanity chair. “What, _Kyungsoo_?”

“Anong _what_ ka d’yan,” Kyungsoo says, “Kailangan tayong picture-an ng photographer with the groom.” 

“Kailangan ba?” Baekhyun tries not to show his disinterest, pero syempre, his face shows it.

Kyungsoo sighs. _Gets niya._

Syempre, ilang taon na silang magbestfriend ni Baekhyun. Hindi exaggeration kapag sinabi mong may mga pagkakataong mas alam ni Kyungsoo ang pagkatao ni Baekhyun more than himself. So, what he does ay inilock ang pinto after sending a quick text, “Sabi ko I found you na, we’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Si Baekhyun naman ang nagsigh ngayon, while watching Kyungsoo take careful steps approaching him, _“Buddy,”_ he calls out to him, “Ano, every kasal na lang ba ng barkada pahirapan?”

May pang-aasar na bumabalot sa concern na sinabi ni Kyungsoo. Baekhyun perks up at the nickname, _buds, buddy,_ hindi mahilig si Kyungsoo sa pet names and he knows na seryoso na kapag ginagamitan na siya neto. 

It was just a slip of the tongue noong college sila, hindi naman nila alam na magtatagal ang friendship pati na ang ugly pet name na galing sa salitang _badidap... buddy na lang._

“Paano na lang kapag ako naman ‘yung kinasal?” Pahabol na asar ni Kyungsoo, “Punyeta ka, paghahanapin mo pa rin ako?”

This time, pareho silang natawa. Probably, nakita nila in their heads ang posibleng scenario when that happens. “Ano ba,” Baekhyun dismisses the idea, “ _Tanga, hindi ako aattend sa kasal mo.”_

Isang hampas sa balikat ang nakuha ni Baekhyun mula kay Kyungsoo, “Aray,” pagmamaktol ni Baekhyun habang hinihimas ang parteng tinamaan, “Masakit, ha, _masakit_.”

  
“Ang arte,” Kyungsoo says, slapping Baekhyun’s arm away para i-straighten ang suot nitong coat sa harap. Ang puting rosas na nakasuksok sa bulsa sa balikat nito, partner na partner sa mukha ni Baekhyun. _Malungkot?_

“Baba na tayo,” bulong ni Kyungsoo,”The faster na makikipagcooperate ka, edi mas maaga ka makakauwi. Ito naman, para namang mamatay ka kapag nakarinig ka ng wedding vows.”

Natawa tuloy si Baekhyun. 

“Andun siya?” 

Kyungsoo looks up mula sa pag-aayos ng tuxedo ng kaibigan, “Who?”

“Sino pa ba?”

And then, at that moment, there was recognition. Medyo subtle ang pagclench ng panga ni Kyungsoo, naalala niya. “Syempre, best friend pa rin naman ni Jongdae, eh.” 

There was silence. Si Baekhyun na rin ang bumasag sa katahimikan. “Hay,” he sighs, “Whatever. Kung ‘di ko lang talaga _mahal_ si Jongdae…”

“You say that everytime kapag may kinakasal sa barkada,” Kyungsoo points it out, “Sana kapag dumating yung araw nung sakin, mahal mo rin ako.”

“Arte mo.” Baekhyun tries not to laugh, “Halika na nga. God, every year na lang ba talaga may ikakasal sa atin?”

Gaano ba kasuwerte ang dalawang taong sabay sa agos ng tadhana ang pagkakataong nagtagpo ang mga landas, na sa bawat pagpapalit ng panahon ay sabay sa agos ng hangin ang mga damdaming nagkatugmaan? 

Anyway, hindi na problema ni Baekhyun 'yun. 

Sana lang, matapos na agad ang wedding.

Spoiler alert, wala naman ang iniiwasan ni Baekhyun. The photos were taken by batches, and grabe na lang ang buntong-hininga of relief ni Baekhyun dahil doon. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  


Baekhyun watches in awe kung paano ngitian ni Jongdae ang napangasawa nito. Grabe, nauna pang ikasal sa kanya ang token straight friend nila noong college. Yung niloloko nilong papasok ng seminaryo? _Nauna pa sa kanya._

Baekhyun downs the champagne in one go bago pahintuin ang naglalakad na waiter para kumuha ng bago, he takes two agad. Hindi naman siya magkakalat, champagne lang naman. Sinong mahina ang nalalasing sa champagne? _Hindi si Baekhyun._

He carries two glasses at lumabas papunta sa area, isang gazebo a little far from the reception proper. Sakto lang ang hangin, pwedeng pwede siyang magyosi. He grabs the pack from the inside pocket ng tuxedo niya and places a stick on his lips.

He pats his pockets at hindi niya makapa ang lighter niya. _Ugh_ , he thinks. Saan na naman niya naiwan ‘yun. So instead, he grabs the cigarette from his lips para hawakan ito between his fingers bago nilaklak ang unang baso ng alak. 

Habang iniinom niya ang pangalawa ay biglang may kumalabit sa kanya, it was Jongin. “Hindi ko alam kung nasaan si Kyungsoo.” Masungit niyang sagot. Natawa tuloy si Jongin at kinuha ang champagne glass mula sa kamay ni Baekhyun para inumin ang natira. 

“Yeah, I know. Nasa loob siya.” Jongin says. He offers his lighter kay Baekhyun after niya magsindi ng kanya. Baekhyun takes it at umirap, nilaklak pa ni Jongin ang champagne niya. “Bakit ka nasa labas?”

Baekhyun laughs, “Same reason kung bakit ka lumabas.” Baekhyun inhales nicotine and feels his nerves calm down. _Tanginang coping mechanism ‘yan._

“Huh, hindi naman ako umiiwas kay Chanyeol, ah,” pagbibiro ni Jongin sa kanya bago bumuga ng usok. Sinuntok siya ni Baekhyun sa balikat, “Joke lang, nasasakal ako. Ang daming gusto ni Kyungsoo kapag siya naman daw ang kinasal, eh...” 

Jongin’s voice trail off, as if he realized na sana hindi niya sinabi ‘yun sa harap ng bestfriend ni Kyungsoo. Baekhyun pats his back, “Hayaan mo lang ‘yun, I’m pretty sure kahit sa tabi tabi kayo magpakasal he’ll be the happiest man on earth.” Isang tapik ulit, “Loosen up, wag kang mapressure.”

Jongin sighs. Hindi mapigilan ni Baekhyun ang mapangiti na may pait, not everyone in a relationship ay puro nakakakilig lang. Dito, nagsstruggle si Jongin with Kyungsoo always waiting sa proposal ni Jongin sa kanya... na malayo pa sa isip ni Jongin sa ngayon. “Isa pa, hindi pa naman ako ikakasal, so huwag kayong magmadali. Hindi pa naman siya napag-iiwanan sa barkada, sabihin mo.”

Jongin smiles shyly bago humithit sa yosi, “Wala ka talagang balak magpakasal?” 

Baekhyun makes a face of disgust bago sila tumawa, “Ask me again in... five years?” He says. “Hahanap muna akong mapapangasawa.”

Totoo naman. Ever since magbreak sila nung isang _ex_ niya, para bang all of his relationships after never nang nagwork. Or at least, it never really blossomed into a relationship, _a healthy one_. Sobrang self-destructive niya kasi, as what Kyungsoo always tells him. 

“Oh? Eh, what about Sehun?” Jongin asks him, warily, habang hinithit ang panghuli niya sa yosi.

_Except for this one guy._

“What about him?” Baekhyun asks him back.

Sehun Oh, Baekhyun’s officemate na head ng creatives team nila. They’ve been… steady? May mga dates na consistent almost every week. He’s not really his boyfriend per se, more like… they’ve been going out, just not as boyfriends. Best friends pwede pa.

_Would be nice, though._

Natitiis niya kasi si Baekhyun and all his toxic traits, like pushing everyone away lalo na when he needs help the most. Sehun has been patient, always patient kay Baekhyun. It’s almost a perfect relationship, only _it’s not._

Walang label, just like what the Gen Z’s would say. But really, Sehun’s more like a friend who was constant. Nakakatakot naman kung mawawala si Sehun dahil lang susubukan nilang dalawa… hindi na afford mawalan ni Baekhyun.

“Nga pala, the script you’re working on,” biglang bati ni Jongin sa kanya ulit dahil tumagal ang isang uncomfortable silence between them after the _Sehun talk_ , “Kumusta na ‘yun?”

Baekhyun grimaces, “Walang usad,” he says, “I’m on leave, well, it was advised. Sobrang writer’s block na talaga, I couldn’t produce any output na papasa sa kanila. They gave me a month, I’ve been travelling from town to town just to find inspiration, pero wala. _Wala talaga._ ” 

“Oh, wow, _a month,_ ” mangha nitong sagot, “Mas nakakapressure, dapat by the end of this month may come out yang bakasyon mo.”

Baekhyun agrees. It was more of a you need to focus wake up call, sugar coated lang as vacation ng mga boss niya. Kung di lang siya paborito, baka matagal na siyang sisante… at kung hindi lang talaga malakas si Sehun sa kompanya baka matagal nang wala si Baekhyun doon. 

They were talking about work nang biglang nahanap na sila ni Kyungsoo. Jongin steps on his yosi bago sinalubong ng yakap si Kyungsoo, “ _Ugh,_ amoy yosi kayo.” He says, nose scrunching at the both of them. “Tapusin niyo na ‘yan, they’re about to close the ceremony na.”

Baekhyun nods and shoos them away, kasi tatapusin pa niya ang sigarilyo niyang tatlong hithit pa. He really needs to stop smoking. He puts the fire out with his foot and smiles at the image of Kyungsoo and Jongin walking pabalik sa loob. Jongin hugging Kyungsoo habang naglalakad sila. 

Sana all mature ang relationship, tipong kayang magmeet sa gitna. Pagod na pagod nang magsabi si Baekhyun ng “Kelan kaya?” at “Sana all.” He laughs at himself, siguro tinatawanan niya na ang sarili niya at this point. 

When the ceremony finished, kanya kanya ang naging daan ng mga tao. And as usual for Baekhyun na tamad na tamad magmaneho, he went there via grab, of course. “B, sa amin ka na kasi sumabay, we can drop you off naman, on the way naman yung Libis sa amin.” Kyungsoo says to him habang nagtetext siya, medyo mahirap makabook ng grab right now.

“What?” He wasn’t able to hear what they were saying kaya inulit sa kanya, “No, it’s okay. Sehun’s in the area naman daw sabi niya dadaanan niya na lang ako.”

Nagtinginan si Kyungsoo at Jongin. _“Right.”_ Sabay nilang sinabi, pero si Kyungsoo na matabil ang dila dinagdagan pa ng, “Bakit kasi hindi mo na lang sinama as your plus one si Sehun?”

“Ano ka ba naman,” he reprimands him, nagpanggap na lang si Baekhyun na hindi niya napansin ang pagkalabit ni Jongin kay Kyungsoo bilang saway sa kanya. “He’s busy, alam mo namang busy siya, eh. Dadalhin ko naman siya if he wasn’t.”

Well, not really. Baekhyun felt like ma-o-out of place lang si Sehun sa wedding ng college friend niya, and he took it upon himself na magdesisyon for them bilang paladesisyon siya.

Jongin and Kyungsoo waited for Sehun to arrive in his fancy car na hindi naman pangdatingan ng isang creatives head, iba talaga si Baekhyun laging swerte sa nabibingwit na lalaki.

Baekhyun climbs up the passenger seat nang pumarada sa drop off rotunda ang sasakyan ni Sehun, with the windows down, Kyungsoo leans in, “Uwi lang ha,” he says to them. Baekhyun laughs and ignores Kyungsoo, nagpapakiss pa nga si Sehun sa pisngi as soon as he climbed up. Tinampal niya lang lightly and pisngi neto.

Sehun laughs at Baekhyun and nods at Kyungsoo’s direction, “Yes, sir.” Ang sabi niya kay Kyungsoo

“Nakainom ‘yan, idiretso mo sa bahay, ha?” Kyungsoo and Sehun watch as Baekhyun fixes his seatbealt.

Baekhyun makes a face, “Anong nakainom?” He pushes Kyungsoo’s face away from the window, “Go home na, stop trying to be my second parent!” He says while he was raising the windows. Sehun maneuvers his car out of the driveway and onto the main road.

“How was the wedding?” Sehun asks and galnces at him, “Umiyak ka when you were having your bestman speech?”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes kunware, “No,” he scoffs, “Although, it was so crazy to see my friends get married one by one, alam mo bang nagpaparinig na rin si Kyungsoo ng kasal?”

“Really?” Medyo kumunot ang noo ni Sehun, “Edi ikaw na lang pala maiiwan.”

Dahan-dahang lumingon si Baekhyun kay Sehun na parang naoffend na naoffend siya. Nakanganga pa siya in disbelief at hindi nagdahan-dahan si Sehun sa pinagsasasabe niya. “Hoy,” saway niya, “Ikaw, bibig mo, ha.”

Sehun smiles at him nung nagglance ito sa direksyon niya, “Well, andito pa naman ako. Hindi lang ikaw maiiwan.”

Baekhyun tries to ignore the underlying tone. Was he saying, hindi ka maiiwan because you have me? Or was it like hindi lang ikaw ang maiiwan someday… ako rin?

Baekhyun feels a palm over his, and sees na hawak ni Sehun ang kaliwang kamay niya. It was a reassuring squeeze, Baekhyun smiles at the warmth and places his other hand sa ibabaw ng kamay ni Sehun. “Ewan ko sa’yo.”

He shakes his head and sighs. Mula sa sasakyan nilang binabagtas ang highway, hindi mapigilan ni Baekhyun ang malungkot. He’s trying so _so_ hard, andyan naman si Sehun, _pero bakit?_

Sana ganun na lang kadali. Siguro, ang dali-dali if he and Sehun were in a relationship already. Kaso, hindi talaga kaya ni Baekhyun, _he’s trying._

And Sehun understands that.

He closes his eyes as a familiar song played on the radio, para siyang binalik noong kolehiyo siya. Hindi niya mapigilan ang pagsabay sa tugtugin, _“Love on borrowed time will never be yours nor mine, I’ll just close my eyes and it will be alright.”_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They were all busy people, ang gustong isipin ni Baekhyun. Kahit na malayo siya sa pagiging busy. 

Anyway! Baekhyun throws on a very large cardigan bago bumaba. As much as he loves his friends, ayaw niya ng mga biglaang pagpupulong. Ayaw niya sa biglaang pagkikita, but like what he always says, they were all busy people and for sure, may rason naman ang “emergency” sa brunch club group chat nila. 

Hindi pa nga siya naliligo at bumaba na agad siya, buti na lang at lahat sila ay nakatira around Libis at napakadali lang tumakbo sa Mary Grace. Kung hindi lang talaga nasa Eastwood ang pagkikita, baka nagpanggap na naman siyang _“may sakit”_.

He makes his way papunta sa table dahil kitang-kita niya agad ang kumakaway na Jongdae, making sure na left hand ang ikinakaway. His new ring catching the warm light ng Mary Grace, may kaunting glint ito sa vision ni Baekhyun. Muntik na siyang umirap. 

Talagang sa Mary Grace pa sila nagkita, si Kyungsoo kasi ang nag-ayos nito. Hindi naman sila Mary Grace type of titos, si Jongdae at Baekhyun ay mas Pale Pilsen type of titos. But, syempre, sino ba namang makakareklamo kapag si Kyungsoo na ang nagrequest?

“Ano na naman ‘to?” He says while ruffling his hair, habang kauupo lang. Ang sama kasi ng tingin ng mga kaibigan niya sa bed hair niya. _Bakit ba?_

“Did you get the invite?” Jongdae asks, “From Junmyeon?”

“Hindi yata. _Oh, what about Senator Kim_?” Pabirong tanong ni Baekhyun sa kanila after umorder ng usual niyang Vongole na masyadong mahal ang presyo. He has yet to check his emails and his mailbox sa condo, wala talaga siyang alam about this. “Ikakasal na naman? Pang-ilan na yan?”

Si Kyungsoo na ang nagsalita this time, “Tanga, baby shower ng wife niya. Gender reveal na rin daw. Anong pang-ilan, they only had three so far ‘no, the civil, the one at the church, and the underwater one.” 

“Oh my god,” ungol ni Baekhyun na akala mo sobrang pagod na pagod na, “Bakit ba ang daming pera ng mga tao, konting utot lang may party agad! Dati naman walang reveal-reveal.”

Baekhyun casually forgets na anak ng isang public official si Junmyeon, thus the Sen. Junmyeon kantyaw kasi pinipilit siyang tumakbo after ng term ng dad niya. Also, they’re rich. Like, super rich sila hindi na nakakatawa. 

“Anyway, sa Ilocos daw ito magaganap.” Kyungsoo says, “And he’s willing to pay for everyone’s expenses for the trip, ayaw pumayag na sasadyain natin sila. They want us to spend at least three days to enjoy Ilocos daw.”

“Wait, what if nangangampanya na si Junmyeon tapos ito yung way niya?” Hininaan pa niya ang boses niya para hindi marinig ng mga malapit sa kanya, “Eh from what I’ve heard, g naman si Junmyeon.”

“Ikaw, alam mo, tsismoso ka.” Pinagalitan siya ni Baekhyun, “Ano, pumayag kayo?”

_“Of course!”_ Sabay na birit ng dalawa, “Libre ‘yun, aayaw pa ba kami?”

“Well, count me out. Ang layo ng Ilocos ha,” Baekhyun says, “Isa pa, anong kapalit nito? Ayoko magka-utang na loob kay Junmyeon ulit. Ang aga naman niya mag-vote buying.” Pagbibiro niya pa sa dulo.

“Bakit? _Hindi ka papayagan ni Sehun_?” Jongdae asks him. “Edi isama natin!”

Baekhyun shakes his head, “No, not really,” ang sabi niya, “Pag nalaman niya pa ‘to, pipilitin niya akong sumama. Sabi niya kasi, mas maganda raw kung may iba akong ginagawa instead of working and spending time with him.”

“Oh, edi kay naman pala!” Kyungsoo exclaims, “Eh, anong inaarte mo d’yan at gusto mo na namang magbail sa aming lahat?”

“Ewan ko,” he sighs, wish ni Baekhyun sana alam niya kung bakit siya nagkakaganito. Trenta na siya pero kung umakting siya ay teenager. Ito na ba ang midlife crisis na tinutukoy ng mga tao? Ang kapal naman ni Baekhyun na isiping aabot siya ng sixty years old in this economy and political climate.

_“Alam ko na.”_ Biglang nagsalita si Jongdae kaya napigilan sila sa pagkain lahat.

  
  


“Alam mo, if this is about _Chanyeol_ , ‘wag mo nang isipin ‘yun. He’s busy, ang dami niyang trabaho malamang sasaglit na naman ‘yun sa party like what he did sa wedding ko.” Biglang dire-diretsong salita ni Jongdae. Nagkatingin tuloy si Kyungsoo at Baekhyun, suddenly, hindi na pala siya gutom. 

Agad na binaba ni Baekhyun ang fork na kakadampot pa lang niya, “Jongdae, hindi naman ako umiiwas.”

“Well, then act like it!” Bulalas ni Jongdae bigla. “Kasi naman, that was what? Nine? Ten years ago! Ano hindi ka pa rin nakaka-move on? _Mahiya ka naman kay Sehun.”_

Walang preno ang bunganga ni Jongdae at this point. Grabe, good luck sa asawa neto. Nakatingin lang si Baekhyun sa kanya, bago ito nagsalita _. “Okay.”_

Tumaas ang kilay ni Kyungsoo, may confusion sa mukha nung dalawa. So Baekhyun repeats his _, “Okay.”_ and continues with, “Three days lang naman, diba? Stop making this about Chanyeol, kung gusto niyo akong kasama sana sinabi niyo. And please, wag niyo naman idamay si Sehun.”

Dinampot ni Baekhyun ang tinidor, “Kapag andun si Chanyeol, malilintikan kayo sakin.” Pagbabanta niya bigla, the mood changing from a very serious one... to Kyungsoo snorting loud. _Nakakahiya._

“Hindi raw umiiwas,” ulit niya dito. “Isipin mo na lang, baka sa Ilocos mo mahanap ang magiging inspirasyon mo sa movie script na hinahanap ng boss mo.”

Baekhyun nods and mocks them by making a face. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  


Sa totoo lang, hindi naman talaga umiiwas si Baekhyun dahil hindi pa siya nakakamove on. It was more of Baekhyun making iwas kasi mapride siya. He remembers the day they broke up, hindi messy ang break up na nangyari. Sobrang mature pa nga kung tutuusin.

It was the kind of break up na mas masakit. Alam mo kasing okay kayo, but you just don’t see them in your lives anymore sa future at that time. And what good ang makukuha mo sa pags-stay sa relasyon at some point ay wawasak sa inyo pareho? 

Kung tatanungin niyo si Baekhyun, hindi niya ‘yun nakita ten years ago? God, he was so, so in love. Ten years ago, he was a hopeless romantic na naniniwala sa soulmates! Kaya nung naging sila ni Chanyeol, wala sa sistema nila ang salitang break up.

Sigurado sila eh. 

Noon, nagtagpo ang buhay nilang dalawa ni Chanyeol and suddenly, they learned that love doesn’t always start like what the movies tell you. They started as friends who hit it off dahil they have almost the same interest, same wavelength ng humor. 

Kung tutuusin, it really was as if two soulmates finally met again after long, long years of finding each other. Para bang narecognize nila ang isa’t-isa in this lifetime and then picking up where they left off sa huli nilang mga buhay. And then from there — it became Baekhyun _and_ Chanyeol.

Bluebooks na may mga markang pasang awa, paying na sira but it doesn’t matter, tsinelas na gasgas na ang ilalim, everything. Baekhyun and Chanyeol would walk from the campus palabas ng Philcoa, kahit malakas ang ulan, siksikan sa maliit na payong at mga basang uniporme sa PE.

Baekhyun was still and undergrad ng Film, si Chanyeol naman, undergrad ng Music. Baekhyun promised that someday, maybe when he’s established, gagawan niya ng script ang kwento nilang dalawa ni Chanyeol.

Chanyeol being the best support system back then, nangako siyang, someday he’ll be the one in charge sa musical score ng pelikula ni Baekhyun. Maybe write him a few songs? No, he’ll write as many songs as possible para lang maibahagi sa ibang tao ang pagmamahal niya for Baekhyun.

Sobrang gandang mga alaala. 

Back in college, halos lahat ng kaibigan nila ay sa kanila nangangantyaw na unang ikakasal sa barkada. Paano ba naman, mas swak pa sila sa puzzle pieces. Baekhyun and Chanyeol would laugh it off, gagantihan nila ng _“Bakit? Invited ba kayo kapag kinasal kami?”_

It was something their friends would always _hope for_ for themselves. Kumbaga, _sana all_. 

And that’s why it hurt, so much.

It was a kind of break up na halos lahat magtataka kung _bakit_ at _paano._

Baekhyun was so sure na Chanyeol didn’t do anything wrong and he was so sure that he didn’t do anything wrong, either. Baekhyun and Chanyeol never really knew where they went wrong, ang alam lang nila, _may mali._

It happened.

_Slowly._

It was so slow, na kahit si Baekhyun hindi man lang nakita ang red flags and warning signs. All the compromises na ginawa nila sa isa’t-isa ay naging panunumbat. Pataasan na lang ng pride. 

Kaya namang tiiisin ni Baekhyun ang lahat para kay Chanyeol, Chanyeol would do the same thing for him naman at alam niya ‘yun. Kung ano ang gusto ni Chanyeol, kaya ni Baekhyun ibigay. Pero at what cost? Baekhyun losing himself in the process? 

Nakakatakot isipin na just a few days ago iniisip nila ang forever... and then the next ones, you’re strangers. Ang hirap, eh, tracing back to where it all went wrong, hell, they don’t even know how it happened. 

Dumadalas ang away mula nung nagsimula na silang magtrabaho, they weren’t kids anymore. Mas naging demanding na ang mga trabaho nila, mas nagiging demanding din sila. They were so sure that they could make it work, even if it’s hard. Aren’t adults supposed to know how to balance everything para hindi ka lamunin?

And they did, a couple of times na nasa bingit na ng break up, they managed to sweep the issues under the rug and pretend it doesn’t exist, pero kailangan mo pa rin naman i-address at some point. 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol realized how their love started to become a chore rather than it being something they want.

With that, he so _sure_ that he wasn’t the same Baekhyun Chanyeol fell in love with, anymore. People change kasabay ng constant na pagbabago ng ikot ng mundo. They were adults na may bearing na ang desisyon sa mundong ginagalawan nila. 

And it was a decision na preho nilang ginawa just to stop causing each other pain na hindi nila alam na nadudulot na dahil sa pagsstay sa isang relasyong day by day, hindi na healthy... because that’s what adults do. 

_“Are we breaking up?” — “Yeah.”_

Baekhyun remembers kung paano pa siya hinatid ni Chanyeol pauwi sa kanila, he sat at the passenger seat ng lumang sasakyan ni Chanyeol na kakarag-karag, a box of his belongings sitting on his lap. “So,” he says to Chanyeol. _“Baba na ako.”_

Chanyeol smiles. “Can I get a kiss?” he whispers, and Baekhyun gives him a tight-lipped smile. “Goodbye hug, at least?” 

“You know we can’t,” Baekhyun says sa kanya. “Alam mo namang isang yakap, isang halik mo lang, babalik at babalik ako sayo. _Let’s do this for ourselves na lang, Chanyeol.”_

Baekhyun loved him. Sure naman siyang mahal din siya ni Chanyeol, lalo na nung time na ‘yun. So he holds Chanyeol’s hand, _“Ingat ka,”_ he says before stepping out of Chanyeol’s car. 

As soon as he stepped down, alam niya na ang ibig sabihin non but deep inside, mahal na mahal niya si Chanyeol kaya niyang talikuran ulit lahat, maybe he could run back inside the car, kiss him on the lips and tell him na aayusin na lang nila.

But when he turned around, paalis na ang sasakyan ni Chanyeol.

And that was goodbye for Baekhyun and Chanyeol. 

Hindi umiyak si Baekhyun that same night. 

But for the next few months, he did. There were nights where he would choose to get drunk alone sa lumang apartment niya, passing out on the cold floor at magigising kinabukasan to hangover na siya rin naman ang magnunurse. 

There were nights na maglalasing siya at uuwi siya sa bahay ng mga magulang niya para umiyak at umiyak, habang yakap ng mama niya… asking the same questions over and over again _, “Bakit masakit? Diba ito naman yung tama?”_ Hushes and backrubs lang ang nakukuhang sagot ni Baekhyun.

He made decisions when he was happy only to regret it whenever he felt down, he left the old apartment, looked for a new job, anything na tutulong sa kanya magsimula ulit.

There were nights where he would dial Chanyeol’s phone number pero hindi niya pinipindot ang call. It was just _there_ mocking Baekhyun dahil memorize pa rin niya ang numero ni Chanyeol.

But for sure, there were nights where he’s so happy he could be himself again.

There were nights na sobrang saya niya, ni isang problema hindi niya maalala. He lost a few people to gain his old self back, and maybe ganun talaga ang buhay. Magulo. You won’t even be able to explain it because it doesn’t make sense. 

_And sometimes love doesn’t either._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  


Baekhyun sighs as he stares at the luggage na nasa harap niya. OA ba kung nagdala siyang maleta for a three day trip? Dapat bang maraming dala? Pero ang pinaka importanteng tanong, dapat bang sumama siya? 

_“Enjoy, B. You deserve it. Be safe, okay?”_ ‘Yun ang huling text sa kanya ni Sehun. He thinks of a reply and settles with a _“Yes, I will. See you when I get back._ _J_ _”_

Sehun replies after a few beats _, “I’ll pick you up at the airport when you get back, yeah?”_

Baekhyun sends him a yellow heart and a _“Yes, please.”_

Natauhan si Baekhyun nang tumunog ang doorbell sa unit niya, kasabay nang pagtunog ng digital lock niya. Alam naman nila ang passcode, pero nagdodoorbell pa rin sila. Agad na nakita ni Baekhyun ang ngiting-ngiti na si Kyungsoo na pumasok sa unit niya. Si Jongin naman ang kumuha ng luggage niya, syempre. 

Mas gugustuhin niyang magthirdwheel kila Kyungsoo at Jongin kaysa kay Jongdae na nasa honeymoon stage pa rin with The Wife. 

Buti na lang at naisipan nilang magtravel by air at hindi magmaneho, kasi as much as possible, 12 hours with Kyungsoo and Jongin? Napapairap na lang si Baekhyun mentally. At least he has time to sleep para hindi makita ang dalawang couple sa kanan at kaliwa niya. 

It was a quick flight, sinalubong sila agad ng staff ni Junmyeon pagkalapag na pagkalapag nila sa airport ng Laoag. Minsan talaga, napapaisip si Baekhyun kung paano siya nakaland ng friendship with a Senator’s son. Feeling niya at some point napapaulanan din siya ng yaman. 

They travelled by van soon after, ihahatid lang naman sila sa resort ni Junmyeon sa Pagudpod. Sariling business ito ni Junmyeon na talaga nga namang malago, bilang isa ito sa pinakamalaking resort sa Norte. 

It was very very calming to see clear skies, nakakadagdag na bawas tension sa katawan ang hanging hindi polluted kumpara sa Maynila and Baekhyun thinks that maybe, hindi siya nagkamali sa pagsama sa trip na ito. 

Siguro, ang cons lang ay kung paano niya nalamang they would all get couple suites pero si Baekhyun lang ang walang couple. Whatever, that means solo niya ang isang suite all to himself. It’s not so bad, after all.

So as soon as they were asked to settle down, he did. Naligo na siya’t lahat, saktong alas dos ng hapon sila nakarating at alas singko naman ang simula ng gender reveal party ng mag asawa. Enough time for them to settle in and prepare. Baekhyun sends Sehun a few pictures.

Syempre, dahil medyo inspired siya ambience wise, maybe a few scenes sa sinusulat niyang movie script ang mapupunan ang ilang oras niyang paghihintay. Habang nasa kalagitnaan siya ng pagsusulat, hindi pa natutuyo ang buhok at lahat ay may kumatok na agad sa pinto ng solo niyang suite. “Hey,” bati niya sa nasa labas as soon as he opened it.

Yumakap siya agad kay Junmyeon na sinadya pa siya sa suite niya, “I’m so glad you made it, akala ko you’ll bail on me again.” Ang sabi nito sa kanya after ng isang yakap, “Kumusta travel?”

“Good,” he says, _“Alam mo namang hindi kita matatanggihan.”_

_Echosera_. Pero halos ilang linggo niyang inisip kung paano niya gagawan ng excuse na hindi na siya pupunta sa baby shower ng anak ni Junmyeon.

“That’s great, alam mo namang hindi pwedeng wala si ninong.” Sai ni Junmyeon sa kanya when they made their way inside the suite. Si Junmyeon lahat ang nag asikaso ng bawat sulok ng bawat cottage sa resort na ito.

“Ninong?” Baekhyun was confused, _“Ako?”_

“Yeah,” he answers, “Alam mo namang masyadong thankful si Irene sa iyo, we wouldn’t have met if it weren’t for you. Dapat lang na ninong ka.”

“That’s,” Baekhyun does not know what to say. _Cool? Nakakatakot? Unnecessary?_ “That’s fine with me. _Kumpare?”_

Junmyeon laughs. They talk a few more, nagcatch up sa trabaho ni Baekhyun and what script he was working on. Junmyeon leaves in a while din naman, he has to check up on the other guests na nasa resort.

Baekhyun was just amazed at how much money this man makes for him to clear out a part of the resort, well, kanya naman ito but still. Baekhyun watches Junmyeon’s back as he climbs down the mini patio papunta sa cottage kung saan naka-stay sila Kyungsoo at Jongin.

He leans at the doorframe and watches the waves from afar. Crossing his arms, he was met with a cold breeze sa tabing-dagat. It’s so crazy how Junmyeon has his life so put together. He’s happily married, magkakaanak na, business man, ano pa… anak ng senador? Nagbabalak tumakbong public official to give back sa masa?

Just how much blessing ba ang natatangap niya from the Lord at bakit parang wala na for Baekhyun?

Mas nalulungkot lang si Baekhyun kasi nahit na naman siya ng realization of how much of a mess he is at thirty.

He sighs and closes the door, kailangan niya pa ng lakas na naipon para makipag-socialize sa maraming tao para mamaya. No time to wallow in sadness at pagseself-pity.

“Congratulations!” Sigaw ni Kyungsoo kay Irene na nasa harap, they were about to give their gifts to them. Baekhyun notices the baby bump na sobrang laki na talaga.

“Hey!” Sigaw din nito, smiling at them cheeks rosy. Blooming na blooming talaga ang buntis. “Buti nakarating kayo! Kinulit ko talaga si Junmyeon na papuntahin kayo, alam niyo naman.”

They talk a few more, at turn na ni Baekhyun to give his gift sa inaanak niya. Buti na lang talaga unisex ang binigay niyang sleepwear ng infant. It was so hard to shop for baby clothes at najujudge siya na siya ang may anak.

“Baekhyun!” Irene squeals and opens her arms for a hug, “I’m so glad you made it!”

Baekhyun hugs her, medyo awkward dahil side to side lang ang pwede dahil sa big belly neto. “Congratulations on the baby, sana healthy at sana magmana sayo at hindi kay Junmyeon.”

Irene slaps his braso lightly, “Sure ako, spoiled itong anak niya, ngayon pa lang eh. Tignan mo naman!” Irene points at the place, there were lights from the palm trees hanging para mailawan sila, may artificial pool just by the shore kung saan ang events held.

Medyo magulo ang usapan dahil puro throwback ang mga kwento nila. Baekhyun breaks away from the group para kumuha ng inumin sa isang tiki bar na malapit. He leans at the counter and smiles at the man working on his tending skills, “Hi,” he smiles.

The bartender in braids smiles at him back, “Kuya Junmyeon’s friend?” Sobrang pretty boy naman nito, his hair was long too, and hindi pa nakakainom si Baekhyun pero alam niyang mukhang anghel si kuya.

Baekhyun nods and sits down at the wooden bar stool, “Yep,” he pops his p. Honestly, he just needs to get away from the people. Ang hirap kasi talaga mag explain kung bakit single pa rin siya, kung nasaan si Chanyeol, and all that shit. “What do you recommend?”

He clicks his tongue and nods, with fast hands he pushes a cocktail drink in front of Baekhyun habang nakangiti. Baekhyun takes that as an invite para tikman ang putting inumin na nasa whiskey glass. “Mm!” He exclaims, “So good! What’s this?”

“Coconut Margarita,” he says, “Personal favorite ni Ate Irene, speaking of, bakit nandito ka at wala ka sa party proper?”

Baekhyun shrugs before sipping his margarita, “Eh,” he doesn’t even know what to say, “Everyone’s paired up, na-o-out of place ako.”

He chuckles before tending to other people at the tiki bar, he pops back in a few times para magsmall talk kay Baekhyun. It wasn’t even flirting, he was genuinely striking conversations kay Baekhyun na mag isa, when he asked him kung bakit, he just said, “I don’t know, you look really sad.”

Tinawanan tuloy siya ni Baekhyun. He gives Baekhyun a few more drinks, at nakipag-small talk sa ibang tao. Baekhyun hums as he downs the last few drops ng inumin niya.

Nagulat lang si Baekhyun na may nagsalita sa may likuran niya making his way papunta sa kanan nito, humihingi ito ng _whiskey, neat_ he adds. The voice was too familiar, and Baekhyun grips the glass a little too tight.

He takes a deep breath and glances at the man beside him. Napatingin din ito sa kanya, and then, there was recognition from the both of them.

_“Hey,”_ the man greets him, and with wary eyes he glances at the place, the tiki bar, the people at the party sa likuran nila, and then he meets Baekhyun’s eyes again.

“Hi,” Baekhyun greets him back _and oh my god._

Chanyeol stands beside him, leaning at the counter where he was sitting. He was dressed in this vertically striped polo, with more unbuttoned buttons than bottoned. His brown hair was slicked back, obviously a little wet from the water. “Baekhyun,” he smiles at him, he was looking at Baekhyun’s eyes para bang di rin siya makapaniwalang nakita niya si Baekhyun, so he just says, _“Kumusta?”_

  
“Chanyeol,” he acknowledges him back. “I’m doing great _, ikaw? Kumusta?”_

He still looks the same up close, walang hustisya ang madalas nilang pagkakatagpo noon kung saan hindi mo rin naman tatawaging pagtatagpo. Baekhyun would be leaving when Chanyeol arrived or vice versa. They never really had the chance to talk, sapat na ang makita siya from afar.

He still looks amazing, wala na ring hustisya ang mga alaala niya from how he remembers Chanyeol in his early twenties. They were thirty now and Chanyeol looks like he never really aged.

He nods, “Good, good. I’m doing great din, buti nandito ka.” He says kay Baekhyun may underlying tone as if saying, _wala ka naman usually kapag nandito ako._ And Baekhyun wishes na sana nga wala.

  
So Baekhyun says, “Yeah, ikaw din. Buti nakarating ka.”

Chanyeol chuckles, “Kararating ko lang, actually. Humabol lang ako, hirap kumawala sa work, eh. You? Do you still work at—“

“AB Publishing?” Baekhyun laughs, “No, I left, mga six years ago? I work with Cinemast now, Screenwriter na ako.”

“For real?” Chanyeol looks really amazed, still looking at Baekhyun… parang dati lang. “That’s great! Congratulations! Alam mo, I knew you’d make it, eh. _I always believed in you.”_

_Really, now?_ Out of respect na lang din, he smiles at him. “You? How’s Mr. Producer? Balita ko ikaw daw ang nagsulat at nagproduce ng almost all of the songs I hear on the radio, ah,” kantyaw niya kay Chanyeol.

Chanyeol dismisses him with his hand as if saying _wala ‘yun,_ and he replies with a, “ _Sus_ , hindi naman.”

“Since when were you humble?” Nagtatakang tanong ni Baekhyun, “Own it, ano ka ba. Honestly, I knew you’d make it din naman.”

“I’ve always been humble,” biglang sabi ni Chanyeol sa kanya. “So, you’ve heard about me and the songs, huh.”

Baekhyun nods, playing with the rim of his glass with the tip of his finger. “Yeah,” lingon niya kay Chanyeol, “Sino ba namang hindi macu-curious sa kung ano ang istorya ng _Sa Susunod na Habang Buhay?”_

There was an uncomfortable silence, at buti na lang nabasag dahil dumating na ang inuming inorder ni Chanyeol sa bartender. Ngumiti ang bartender kay Baekhyun, not really understanding what was happening pero he’s glad may kausap na si Baekhyun.

“Well, that was written for a friend,” Chanyeol says to him, “Hindi naman naming alam na magcclick ‘yung song when we had a famous band sing it for us. The next thing we know, the song was literally playing everywhere.”

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to do, pero in his head he’s thinking of ways to get out of there. Paano ba siya magsasabing gusto na niyang lumayo at ayaw niya na ng small talk. Hindi niya inasahan ang boses ni Chanyeol ulit, _“Kumusta ka?”_ Ulit niya itong tinanong kay Baekhyun.

“Uh, well, sa totoo lang,” Baekhyun musters all the courage para sabihing, “A _little uncomfortable?_ It’s not all the time naman na makakasalubong mo ‘yung ex mo from ten years ago sa baby shower ng kaibigan niyo, but I’m good. Eh, ikaw?”

“Yeah, I’m good too. Same, sa totoo lang but actually, it’s so nice to see you.” Chanyeol says to him, _“And talk to you.”_

“So, there I was, ready na akong sumugod. Syempre, marinig mo ba namang nasa guidance ‘yung pamangkin mo, eh. Turns out, si Yoojin pala ang nanakit ng classmate niya.” Chanyeol laughs as he recalls the story. Natawa rin tuloy si Baekhyun habang naglalakad.

They somehow managed to talk to each other. _Surprisingly._

Nagkayayaan pa ngang magpahangin at maglakad-lakad away from the crowd. It was as if nothing happened, picking up conversations after conversations. Sobrang dami nilang napagkuwentuhan maging ang mga nangyayari na ngayon.

Baekhyun feels the sand on his feet kahit nakasuot siya ng sandals niya, with a beer hand he takes a swig, bago nagsalita, “Yoojin’s what now, in grade 5? Grabe. He’s so big now.” Baekhyun says. Patuloy lang silang naglalakad sa tabingdagat, relishing in the warm sea breeze. “Nung huli ko siyang nakita hindi pa siya marunong magsalita.”

“Barely even one, natandaan mo yung binyag niya? Yung instead na si Yoojin ang umiyak, si ate Yoora yung umiyak.” Chanyeol says to him. Baekhyun nods and smiles at the memory.

“Same day na hindi dumating ‘yung order from Amber’s na Pancit at nagwala si tita?” Baekhyun adds. Nagulat si Chanyeol dahil naaalala pa niya ang mga nangyari noon. He sighs and sits down sa buhangin at humarap sa mga tubig. Tinawanan na lang nila ang memory of tita mama na nagalit dahil hindi pala nakaorder ng handa.

Baekhyun stops walking at tumingin kay Chanyeol, nakita niyang nakatingin din ito sa kanya. Pinat ni Chanyeol ang spot right next to him as if saying, _tabi ka sakin_. So Baekhyun reluctantly steps closer bago umupo sa tabi ni Chanyeol.

His ex-boyfriend takes three big gulps of his beer bago nagglance sa kanya. “How’s tito?”

“Ayun, diabetic pa rin. Matigas ulo eh,” Baekhyun replies, “Ilang beses labas pasok sa ospital. Just last month, he had nine stones removed from his bladder, alam mo ba ‘yun? _I couldn’t even look at sampaloc the same way since then,”_

Chanyeol laughs at the response and nods, nagbago ang tono, “Buti kinaya mo.” He whispers and stares at Baekhyun’s face.

Nailang tuloy si Baekhyun na nakatitig sa dagat, bigla siyang lumingon kay Chanyeol. “Oo naman,” he says to him, mukhang seryoso si Chanyeol kaya dinagdagan niya, “Hindi naman ako yung inoperahan.” He jokes.

Chanyeol chuckles, “Let me guess, sinisi mo na naman sarili mo, ‘no?” his tone was serious, “For not being there to watch over him kasi nga makulit siya, beating yourself up over the fact na hindi sana lalala if ‘yon were staying with them.”

There was silence.

Wala silang ibang marinig kundi ang patuloy na paghampas ng alon sa dalampasigan, barely reaching the edge of their toes. Chanyeol had his legs out stretched, leaning on his hand as he stares the moon. Baekhyun on the other hand, sat with his legs crossed at nakatitig sa kawalan.

Basang-basa siya ni Chanyeol and he feels so exposed? _Vulnerable?_ Baekhyun tries to find the right word to describe but he just nods, “Well, that’s B for you.” He smiles yumuko siya para laruin ang buhangin gamit ang puwet ng bote na hawak niya. “It’s just, alam mo ‘yun, tumatanda na sila.”

“Yeah, I get you.” Sagot ni Chanyeol sa kanya, “But you can’t always blame yourself.”

Baekhyun hums, alam naman niya ‘yun. But he can’t stop blaming himself kung alam naman niya, self-desctructive siya, sabi ni Kyungsoo… _malay ba niya kung more harm than good ang natatanggap ng mag tao sa paligid niya, diba?_

They stay still, wallowing in each other’s silence. Si Baekhyun ang unang bumasag sa katahimikan.

_“What happened to us?”_

Chanyeol doesn’t answer, and instead he stares at Baekhyun. “I don’t know,” Chanyeol sighs and after a few beats he says, “Maybe we were too caught up on our _should be’s_ when we were together.”

He was right. Baekhyun closes his eyes and feels the sea breeze hit his face like a warm caress, and _he was right…_ it felt like a chore, something you put on a pedestal and say we should be like this, hindi dapat ganito, dapat ganyan.

“Naalala mo ba nung nag-away tayo dahil halos hindi na tayo magkita sa bahay eh nakatira lang naman tayo sa iisang bubong?” Baekhyun says after ng ilang minutong pananahimik. “That was the first time I saw you with so much restraint, nakakuyom palad mo. _Susuntukin mo ba dapat ako?”_ Nagpigil ng tawa si Baekhyun.

Chanyeol was confused. “Oh, _that.”_ He smiles, “Hell no, kahit kelan naman hindi kita pagbubuhatan ng kamay. I was angry, kasi back then it felt like I was the only one trying to make things work. I worked less and less, pero ikaw you were still getting lots of tasks na halos kahit sa bahay nagtatrabaho ka.”

Baekhyun bites his lips, “I did that to get my mind off of things, mas busy the better, ibig sabihin wala akong oras magisip ng kung anu-ano. No matter how much I tried to ignore the nagging feeling, andun pa rin.”

“Ang?”

“ _Our falling out_.” Baekhyun tries hard to swallow, bago tumuloy magsalita. Medyo naninigas na ang panga niya, “I felt it, I felt us falling apart.”

Both of them chuckle at the thought. “Crazy how we used to think that we had it all figured out, ‘no?” Baekhyun smiles at him, “Talagang we had our entire lives planned out nung college tayo,”

Chanyeol agrees, his dimple slightly making an appearance bago mawala ulit, “ _Yet we still broke up.”_

“Had we met a little later maybe we would’ve been more mature, baka hindi na natin naranasang magkabatuhan ng masasakit na salita.” Baekhyun smiles at the memory fondly, “Maybe if we met a little later things would’ve been different.”

_“Hindi lang naman siguro timing ang dapat natin sisihin?”_ Chanyeol smiles back at him bago silang dalawa tumingin sa madilim na kalangitan with the moon as the only source of light.

May katahimikan na namang naganap kaya nagclear na ng lalamunan si Baekhyun, he stands up para pagpagin ang shorts niyang kinapitan ng buhangin. “Balik na tayo, baka hinahanap na nila tayo.” He says while waiting for Chanyeol to stand up.

Sabay silang naglakad sa tabi ng dagat, ninanamnam ang katahimikan between them with only the waves crashing ang naririnig nila. From where they were walking, hindi nila alam na nakatingin sa kanila ang mga kaibigang naiwan kung saan nagaganap ang baby shower.

When they went back, they were met with confusion. Halos nakanganga si Jongdae sa nakita, kaya naman tinapik siya ni Kyungsoo sa may sikmura. Si Kyungsoo ang unang nagsalita, “So,” he looks at Chanyeol and then back to Baekhyun, ilang beses siyang papalit-palit ng tingin bago muling nagsalita, _“Anong nangyayare?”_

_“Wala,”_ Si Baekhyun ang nagsalita.

All of them turn their heads papunta sa direksyon kung nasaan si Chanyeol nakatayo, sa may likuran lang ni Baekhyun. He nods and then repeats what Baekhyun said, “ _Wala.”_

_Wala naman kasi talaga._

The morning after wasn’t any different. Nagising si Baekhyun sa mga maiingay na katok ng kaibigan niya from the other side. So with a half-functioning brain at 7:00 AM, _“What?!”_ masungit niyang bungad as soon as he opened the door.

“What do you mean what, _buddy?_ Kagigising mo lang? Magbihis ka na, we’re gonna go see the Rock Formations!” Sabi ni Kyungsoo sa kanya but all of the words just seem to blend with each other dahil nga, kalahati pa lang ng utak niya ang gumagana.

“No, thanks.” He was about to close the door ng magulat siya dahil pinigil siya ng kamay ni Kyungsoo.

“Okay, I knew you’d say no, but I asked just in case you wanted to come with us pero sige, bahala ka. If you need us… well, hintayin mo kami. Wala ka namang choice, don’t do anything stupid while we’re gone.”

Baekhyun nods not really absorbing what was thrown to him kaya nung sinara niya ang pinto ay napakamot na lang siya ng tiyan. Really? Hindi man lang siya pinilit ni Kyungsoo? He would’ve said yes mga limang beses pang magtanong si Kyungsoo, he’d eventually give in naman kaya hindi alam ni Baekhyun na ang bilis kausap ni Kyungsoo.

Hindi na tuloy nakabalik sa tulog si Baekhyun. Tama naman si Kyungsoo, may kama naman sa Manila bakit kaya si Baekhyun mas gusto pang matulog? So, Baekhyun prepares to go out at naghilamos. He’s here, might as well enjoy it kahit siya lang mag-isa.

Mags-stay siya sa isa sa mga cabanas sa beach side kung saan nagseserve ng breakfast but he sees a familiar figure hunched over one table, habang nagkakape. Baekhyun walks slowly, arms crossed. “May kasama ka?”

The man looks up at him and shakes his head. He points at the bench in front of him. Umupo naman si Baekhyun habang hinihintay ang iseserve sa kanyang breakfast. Early bird talaga si Chanyeol, hindi pa rin siya nagbabago. “Kaalis lang ni Junmyeon,” Chanyeol says to him. “Kasama nila sila JD, they’ll go swimming daw sa may mga bato.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sagot niya kay Chanyeol, “Ikaw, bakit di ka sumama?”

Napatingin lang si Chanyeol sa kanya, and then at that moment biglang naalala ni Baekhyun kung bakit. _“Boat rides.”_ Sabay nilang sinabi. Ayaw na ayaw ni Chanyeol sumasakay sa Bangka o Barko. It doesn’t matter kung gaano kalaki. Kaya rin hindi man lang siya naaya ni Baekhyun dati sa isang cruise date. Mga isang buwan niyang gini-guilt trip si Chanyeol noon dahil dun.

“Eh ikaw?”

“Just felt like staying here.”

“Baka naman gusto mo lang ako masolo,” pagbibiro ni Chanyeol.

Baekhyun scoffs at him, “Excuse me, ha. Hindi ko nga alam na nandito ka.”

“Easy, I was just kidding.” Natatawang sinabi ni Chanyeol sa kanya. Biglang dumating ang pagkaing inorder ni Baekhyun, “Daing?”

_“Bangus belly,”_ sabay na naman nilang sinabi. Paboritong ulam lang naman ni Baekhyun, Chanyeol hides his smile. He excuses himself, akala tuloy ni Baekhyun iiwan na siya ni Chanyeol but he came back holding two bukos on both of his hands. He places one in front of Baekhyun at ininom ang sa kanya.

“I was planning to go on a drive later, hiniram ko yung isa sa jeeps ni Junmyeon. Gusto mo sumama?” Alok sa kanya ni Chanyeol. Baekhyun has all the reasons to say no and reject the offer, una sa lahat, baka maging awkward.

“Yeah, sure. _Why not?”_

_Echosera_.

Hindi rin alam ni Baekhyun bakit nakasakay siya sa passenger seat ng isang lumang owner type jeepney na bumabagtas sa isang napakahabang tulay. Chanyeol parks the car on the side of the road bago tumawid. The bridge was overlooking the sea, “Ito daw ‘yung pinakamahabang bridge dito.” He says kay Baekhyun.

Baekhyun removes the shades from his eyes para ilagay sa ulo niya, “Ang ganda.”

They stay quiet for a while, halos lumipad ang mga buhok nila dahil sa lakas ng hangin sa tulay. “Ito lang gagawin mo kung ikaw lang mag-isa?” Baekhyun asks him. They were both leaning down on the railing sa tulay, staring at the calm waves dahil sa magandang panahon. “Let me guess, you’ll watch the sunset mamaya?”

He shakes his head, “I would, but the sun sets at the other side, yung side ng resort ni Junmyeon is where the sun rises.” Nagbibiro lang naman si Baekhyun pero mukha ngang gagawin ni Chanyeol ang pagnood sa araw. 

Chanyeol breathes in before speakiing, “Hindi naman lahat ng pagkakataon you’d get to see something like this sa Manila. I barely leave the studio, eh. This is nice.”

“It is.” Baehyun stares at Chanyeol’s side profile, nakapikit si Chanyeol. He looked like he was taking in the fresh probinsya air. He was right, this is such a nice change. Walang ganito sa Maynila.

“Baka matunaw.” Biglang nagsalita si Chanyeol kahit nakapikit. At kahit hindi siya nakikita ni Chanyeol, inirapan niya ito bago tumawa. _Ang kapal talaga._

Baekhyun walks away para tumawid papunta sa sasakyan para doon na lang siya hintayin. He hears Chanyeol’s laughter as he turns around, napa-shake na lang tuloy ang ulo niya. Trenta na si Chanyeol pero ang mga hiritan akala mo teenager.

They somehow found their way pabalik sa Casa ng mga Kim, akala ni Baekhyun matatapos na ang araw niya doon. When they got back, tinawag niya si Chanyeol as he was putting in the key to his suite, “Chanyeol?” He calls.

Chanyeol looks back to where Baekhyun was standing sa ibaba ng patio ng cottage niya, “Yeah?”

“Inom tayo mamaya?” ang pag-aalok ni Baekhyun sa kanya, “Inimbita mo ako kanina sa plano mo, eh. Nakakahiya naman if I don’t invite you to mine, ano, game?”

Chanyeol nods slowly, medyo awkward, but then hindi niya mapigilan ang ngumiti. It was Chanyeol’s turn to say, “Yeah, sure. _Why not?”_

Upbeat music can be heard from where a Local DJ was stationed sa isang maliit na bar within the vicinity of the Casa. Nakita lang ni Baekhyun itong place na ito when they first step foot sa Casa, it’s probably owned by Junmyeon pa rin. Wala masyadong tao dahil hindi naman summer season ang kalagitnaan na week na ng August.

Pareho silang halatang mukhang bagong salta.

Baekhyun sits down at an old rattan chair bago inilibot ang mga mata. What should he get? Siguro mga tatlong bote lang ng beer, they’re going to leave tomorrow naman and flying back with a hangover is _not_ worth it.

Kaya lang nang marinig ni Chanyeol ang order niyang isang bote ng red horse ay parehong umangat ang kilay niya, “Beer lang?” natatawa tawa si Chanyeol na umiiling, “Inaya mo ako para magbeer ulit?”

Hindi tuloy alam ni Baekhyun bakit siya pumayag na si Chanyeol ang mamahala sa mga inumin nila ngayong gabi.Mapride kasi siya, naoffend siya dahil tinaasan ng kilay ang order niyang beer lang. Bilang palaban, “Eh, ‘di ikaw na umorder.”

Nasa harap ni Baekhyun ngayon ang tatlong maliit na shot glass of whatever it is that Chanyeol ordered. Hindi pa rin talaga siya nagbabago. Hinding-hindi makakalimutan ni Baekhyun ang pagiging sunogbaga ni Chanyeol noong college sila, _alak ang sagot,_ is what he would always say.

And just like a snap, it didn’t take long enough for Baekhyun to turn into a laughing mess. Wala namang nakakatawa pero bungisngis ang Baekhyun sa lahat ng kwento ni Chanyeol tungkol sa trabaho niya and how he managed to have his own studio without fucking anyone from the industry.

“What do you mean,” Baekhyun leans his head on his arm na nasa mesa, “You mean you never dated? _Talaga?”_

“I never said I _never dated,”_ Chanyeol pretends to think hard, tapos nagbilang pa sa kamay niya, lumampas pa nga sa sampung daliri ang binibilang niya nang bigla siyang magsalita, “Hmm, dalawa lang.” Chanyeol says to him.

_“Gago,”_ natatawang sagot ni Baekhyun sa kanya. “What happened with the other two?”

“Ah, yung una, I met her two years after we broke up. Blind date lang, we went out for a year lang, niligawan ko. Kaso nung naging kami, three months lang tinagal namin.” Chanyeol says, shumot siya bago itinuloy ang sinasabi, “We’re still friends, though. Ninong na ako ng anak niya.”

“How about the other one?”

“Still seeing him now,” Chanyeol says to him. Hindi inexpect ni Baekhyun ang sagot, he was expecting na baka single pa rin naman si Chanyeol after all these years but honestly who was he kidding? Chanyeol’s a great guy _, lugi na lang kung hindi siya makakatagpo ng para sa kanya._ _“_ Well, kind of seeing lang naman. _We’re not really in a relationship. Magulo, eh. Hindi kami._ Ayaw niya raw magdate ng lalaki in the same industry. _”_

“Oh.” Baekhyun nods, understandable. But why? “Fubu? _Trenta ka na may fuck buddy ka pa?”_

“Well, if you put it that way… Eh, ikaw?” pag uudyok ni Chanyeol sa kanya. “Masyado ka nang maraming nalalaman sa akin. Ikaw, kumusta ka netong huling sampung taon?”

Baekhyun takes a shot, “Dated a lot, pero walang nagtatagal enough for us to be in a relationship.”

Chanyeol refills Baekhyun’s shot glasses with the tequila _, oo, tatlo agad_ ang nilagyan niya sa harap ni Baekhyun. “Oh?” He says as he fills the last glass, “Bakit naman?”

“Never really saw myself in a long term relationship again, eh.” Baekhyun picks up another glass and downs the liquid na talagang gumuguhit sa lalamunan. He grimaces at the burning sensation and half coughs and half laughs, “I’m seeing someone, din. _Great guy_ , para akong open book, sometimes hindi ko na kailangan mag explain kasi alam niya na.”

“Pero bakit parang may kasunod ‘yan?” Pag uusisa ni Chanyeol sa kanya, “Meron pa ‘no?”

“Well,” Baekhyun tries to pretend that he was annoyed pero his little smile gives him away, “I just can’t see myself committing… _ulit._ And he understands that, sabi niya naiintindihan niya ako. Sinabi ko naman, eh, ayokong basta-basta nagcocommit. Lalo na if it would end up like, _” us._

Hindi natapos ni Baekhyun ang sasabihin.

“He seems great,” bati ni Chanyeol with all genuiness.

Right. _Sehun._

“He is, actually.” Baekhyun smiles fondly at the shot glass in front of him, playing with it for a while bago shinot ang laman nito. Ambang isho-shot muli ni Baekhyun ang pangatlo niyang baso kaya naman nirefill-an agad ni Chanyeol ang mga ito.

_“Alam ba niyang umuutot ka kapag tulog?”_ He says while pouring the liquor, halos maibuga ni Baekhyun ang iniinom. _Halos_ dahil he kind of splutters some kay Chanyeol na nagpapahid na ng braso dahil sa mga tumalsik sa kanya. “B, ang baboy?”

_“Ikaw, baboy!”_ Baekhyun says after he coughs sa pagkakasamid niya, “Ikaw kaya ‘yung umuutot kapag tulog! Ang kapal mo talaga.”

Binasa pa ni Baekhyun si Chanyeol gamit ang basa niyang kamay mula sa tubig at sa alak. Umiiwas si Chanyeol sa mga kamay ni Baekhyun, laughing a little nang mahablot nito ang braso niya. _He’s gotten a lot more tattoos over the past years,_ he thinks to himself.

Hindi naman sa lahat ng oras ay mabibigyan ka ng pagkakataon to sit with the person you loved _and laugh comfortably over the pain you caused each other in the past._

Perhaps totoo nga ang _the one that got away._

It was such a nice feeling. To be able to talk to someone like this, someone na galing sa nakaraan. Just Chanyeol’s presence was enough for Baekhyun to feel like he was taken back to 2010, when everything was so much easier.

Getting to talk to him felt like a warm hug after a long rainy day outside. Para bang muli na namang nagtagpo, _as if Baekhyun’s soul recognizes Chanyeol’s all over again._

It was Baekhyun tripping over his own feet over the sand ang talagang nagpahagikgik kay Chanyeol. He was watching Baekhyun walk in front of him pabalik sa kani-kanilang mga suites. Pwede namang pabayaan na lang ni Chanyeol si Baekhyun to find his own way back but that’s not so Chanyeol. He has to at least make sure na tamang unit pinasukan ni Baekhyun.

So when Chanyeol sees Baekhyun stupidly fumbling with the keys to his unit, di niya mai-suksok nang maayos resulting to him grunting and throwing a fit na parang bata. _“Ugh, ano ba!”_

Hindi mapigilang mapa-iling, some things never change talaga. Chanyeol makes his way paakyat sa steps leading up to the front deck of the unit and stands behind Baekhyun.

He holds Baekhyun’s hand to grab the keys mula rito he feels Baekhyun stiffen from where he was standing in front of Chanyeol. Chanyeol gets the key himself and inserts it on the keyslot, a click was heard bago bumitaw si Chanyeol sa pintuan. “There you go,” he whispers.

Baekhyun feels the warmth, “Thanks,” he says and turns to where he heard Chanyeol’s voice. Hindi naman niya alam na sobrang lapit ng mukha ni Chanyeol from where he was leaning down nung tinulungan niya si Baekhyun. Baekhyun stares at Chanyeol, too close. _Too close._

Chanyeol turns his head a little to the side, nagtama ang mga mata nilang dalawa. And just like that, it took _not even a second_ for Baekhyun to close the distance between them, lips meeting in chaste kiss. Nakalapat lang ang mga labi ni Baekhyun over Chanyeol’s own, and no one really dared to move.

It was Chanyeol who broke away from the kiss to lean his forehead against Baekhyun’s, “ _What’s this?”_ He asks in a hushed voice, “Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun closes his eyes at umiling-iling, “ _I don’t know,”_ he tries to shake away the thoughts, anything, he just shakes his head foreheads still leaning. Chanyeol tries to calm him down and holds his cheek with his right hand. _“I don’t really know.”_

Baekhyun sighs, _“I don’t know.”_ Inulit niya lang bago sinubukang kumawala. Nung akmang hihiwalay si Baekhyun, si Chanyeol ang unang sumunggab ng halik diretso sa labi ni Baekhyun. Both of his hands were now craddling Baekhyun’s cheeks.

The kiss was slow, it was soft and not really hurried. Everything happened so fast it felt like a blur. With Baekhyun pressing Chanyeol’s back to the door as soon as they entered to Chanyeol fumbling with Baekhyun’s buttons on his shirt.

They both found their way onto Baekhyun’s bed, ang mga likuran ng tuhod ni Baekhyun ang tumama sa dulo ng kama with him toppling down and Chanyeol following. Halos hindi maihiwalay ng dalawa ang mga labi sa isa’t-isa.

For a moment, nakatitig lang si Chanyeol kay Baekhyun, and it was Baekhyun who closed the distance again sa pagitan nila para humalik at humalik sa mga labi ni Chanyeol. If he were being honest, everything was so familiar and _it felt like home._ Marahang dumampi muli ang mga labi ni Chanyeol pababa sa leeg niya, hawak naman nito sa isang kamay ang bewang niya.

Sa pagkaka-ibabaw ni Chanyeol, mayroong gigil at may halong sabik ang bawat halik ni ni Chanyeol. Mainit ang paglapat ng mga labi nito sa balat ni Baekhyun sa pisngi, sa leeg, sa panga, at tila lahat ay mamarkahan ni Chanyeol, _just like what he always does._

Bumangon si Chanyeol saglit to remove his top, just to come back down again para sunggaban ang dibdib ni Baekhyun, exposed all for him to see, to touch, and to taste. Baekhyun holds his head with both of his hands para halikan ito ulit sa labi.

Naramdaman ni Chanyeol ang bawat pag-angat ng bewang ni Baekhyun.

Just the action alone, ay halos taasan na si Chanyeol ng balahibo. With the way that it rubs Chanyeol just at the right spot kung saan kailangan niya ng action, hindi niya mapgilan ang isang ungol lumabas sa kanya. Agad din siyang humalik siya sa leeg ni Baekhyun, both of them moaning dahil sa paghagod ng mga bewang nila at tila nakaramdam ng kuryente from one body to another.

It was Baekhyun’s turn to push Chanyeol to the side, straddling him para siya naman ang pumaibabaw sa kanilang dalawa.

Hindi napigilan ni Baekhyun ang ungol na kanina pa niya pinipigil, his hands travelled all over Chanyeol’s body, from his chest down to his tummy… and inside of his shorts. Isang singhal ang binigay ni Chanyeol, biting his own lip nang maramdaman ang mga maiinit na palad ni Baekhyun over his crotch.

Tumaas baba ang kamay ni Baekhyun from where he was holding Chanyeol, hindi rin niya napigilan ang isang mahabang buntong hiningang pinawalan dahil naramdaman niya ang daliri ni Chanyeol sa isang pamilyar na lugar sa katawan niya na kakilang kakilala ni Chanyeol.

Chanyeol reaches over his shorts and fumbles with the wallet, he gives Baekhyun two of his foiled packets and despite being old enough for shit like this, hindi napigilan ni B ang mamula. They somehow found themselves like this, again, after so many years.

“Is this okay?” Chanyeol asks, Baekhyun was able to open one packet with his teeth at nang mabuksan ang sachet ng pampadulas, binuhos niya ito sa daliri niya. Baekhyun does not answer verbally and instead nods and aims for Chanyeol’s lips again from below.

“Mm,” Baekhyun moans against Chanyeol’s lips. Baekhyun reaches from behind at kinalat sa mainit na butas niya, malamig ito at naghahalo ang sensasyon dahil sa mainit na daliri niya.

_It’s been so long,_ he thinks to himself and feels every stretch sa pagpasok ng daliri niya sa sarili niya. Idinilat niya ang mga mata niya only to meet Chanyeol’s eyes na talagang titig na titig sa kanya. Chanyeol could not stop himself from biting his lip in anticipation, halos parehas lang sila ng iniisip ni Baekhyun, _it’s been so long._

Baekhyun gasps as he felt Chanyeol’s arms snake around him, his left hugging him at ang kanan naman ay tumulong sa mga kamay niyang busy stretching himself.

Minasahe muna ni Chanyeol ang butas ni Baekhyun niya ito sinabayang pinasukan ng isang daliri kasabay ng kay Baekhyun, isang mahaba at mahinang _“ah,”_ ang binitawan ni Baekhyun, napapikit na lang siyang ninanamnam every bit of experience.

Halos manginig si Baekhyun from above, dahil halos tatlo na ang nakapasok sa kanya. He quickly removes his own fingers only to feel Chanyeol replaces his with another finger. Sa totoo lang hindi na alam ni Baekhyun what to expect, he feels Chanyeol moving his fingers swiftly inside of him just grazing over that spot na talagang nagpapanginig sa kanya sa kama, tulad noon.

Alam na alam pa rin ni Chanyeol kung paano niya babaliwin ang isang Baekhyun Byun just by his touch. Dumilat si Baekhyun nang maramdamang huminto ang mga daliri ni Chanyeol momentarily and before he could even ask why, _“God, it’s been so long and you’re still so beautiful.”_

Alam ni Baekhyun na lasing lang sila pareho, and Chanyeol probably doesn’t mean it pero sa ngayon, wala siyang pake. Although, it hurts. Sino ba naman kasing tangang makikipag-hook up sa ex niya from ten years ago who’s probably hung up on this fuck buddy na hindi niya pa nakikita pero alam niya nang hindi niya magugustuhan.

It hurts. It hurts so much, dahil ang bilis niyang bumigay, sampung taong pagpipigil para sa sarili, sampung taong pagpapanggap na okay lang ang lahat dahil natapos na, tapos na ang lahat wala nang dapat pang pag-usapan.

Masakit dahil alam naman nilang hindi ito tama.

With skillful hands, he managed to put on rubber on himself. Naramdaman na ni Baekhyun ang isang paguudyok sa tapat ng butas niya. “Sabihin mo _kapag masakit_ ,” Chanyeol whispers before pushing it in. Baekhyun almost sobs, not because feeling niya mapupunit siya in half but because of the feeling and how it was so familiar.

Ang mga noo nilang dalawa ay magkadikit, hindi mapigilan ni Baekhyun ang magluha. Chanyeol takes that as an opportunity to roll the both of them over, not really removing himself na fully inside Baekhyun.

He sees Baekhyun’s tears and wipes them with his free hand, his other arm supporting his weight from where he was leaning down on Baekhyun from below him. “Shh,” he whispers, magkadikit pa rin ang mga noo nila. He lifts his head for a moment to give Baekhyun a kiss sa noo, pababa sa ilong, hanggang sa lumapat ito muli sa mga labi ni Baekhyun.

Halos sumabay sa tibok ng mga dibdib nila, ay tuloy lang din ang indayog ng bewang ni Chanyeol kasabay ng mga binibitawang mahihinang _“ah, ah, ah,”_ ni Baekhyun kasabay ng ilang beses pa netong pagpupuri ng _doing so good, you’re being so good._

The pillow talk wasn’t any better, alam naman nilang hindi na sila lasing. They agreed to watch the sunrise together, with Chanyeol placing kisses on his neck and shoulder.

They go at it a few more times, only napping a few hours.

From a long day, the both of them settled at the same spot where they first talked on the first night. Si Chanyeol ang naunang umupo at pinat ulit ang spot sa tabi niya. Baekhyun plops himself sa tabi ni Chanyeol, sitting closer this time.

They were almost shoulder to shoulder.

Baekhyun yawns and pouts. Sino ba naman kasi siya to decide last night na manood ng sunrise ngayong umaga? Post coitus conversations make so much sense and sometimes they don’t kaya, _bakit._ Chanyeol checks his phone for the last time, “Just a few more minutes. Tignan mo, medyo lumiliwanag na.”

_Oo nga, medyo lumiliwanag na for Baekhyun._

“Sana pwede ko ‘tong iuwi,” Baekhyun whispers, it was mostly to himself.

“I’ll buy the sunrise for you para maiuwi mo.” Pagbibiro ni Chanyeol sa kanya. Parang tanga.

They watch in silence, shoulder to shoulder. Bawat patak ng minuto ay lumiliwanag ang paligid, only a few more minutes when Baekhyun and Chanyeol saw the first peek of the sun. Nagreflect ito sa dulo ng coast, glimmering against the calm waters.

Last night shouldn’t have happened pero nangyari na. With all the uncertainty na patuloy na gumugulo sa isipan ni Baekhyun hindi niya mapigilan ang masaktan. _Saan? Bakit ba kasi siya nasasaktan?_

Baekhyun leans his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder.

Naramdaman niya ang pagtense ng balikad ni Chanyeol from the sudden weight of his head, Chanyeol doesn’t say anything and instead wraps his left arm on Baaekhyun’s shoulder and holds onto his arm in a tight reassuring squeeze.

They don’t even know what it means, or if will mean anything.

Baekhyun places a hand over Chanyeol’s hand na nakahawak sa braso niya habang nanonood ng pagtaas ng araw signaling a new day.

_Baekhyun’s last day here._

Baekhyun wakes up from the noise on the other side of the door, he was alone on his bed this time. Bumalik kasi si Chanyeol sa suite niya after nila panoorin ang pagsikat ng araw, it’s almost 10:00 am and Baekhyun forgot, “Shoot!” pagmamadali niyang bumangon after niya makita ang oras.

“Come on! We’re leaving in an hour!” Sigaw ni Kyungsoo sa kanya. He opens the door and meets Kyungsoo’s neatly dressed na at hindi na nakasummer clothing. _“Buddy,”_ he says, “Hey!”

Tinaasan lang siya ni Kyungsoo ng kilay, sumilip ito sa loob at sinabing, “Sabi na eh.” Kyungsoo goes straight inside his suite para kunin ang maleta neto, “Oo na, I’ll help you pack.” Baekhyun pretends na hindi niya narinig ang _tulog kasi nang tulog_ na sinabi ni Kyungsoo.

They finish packing a few minutes later, maglulunch pa sila bago sila ihatid sa Laoag which was a two hour drive. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo go straight to the Cabana where Jongdae and his wife were sitting kasama ni Jongin.

Baekhyun’s eyes travel around, tila may hinahanap.

Hindi niya tuloy makain nang maayos ang lunch niya, he’s about to leave and hindi man lang niya nakikita pa si Chanyeol. Maybe he was still asleep _? Puyat naman talaga sila_. He excuses himself and was reminded na they’ll be leaving in ten minutes.

Baekhyun stands in front of Chanyeol’s suite, he was about to knock pero nagulat siya nag bumukas ito at may lumabas na resort crew. “Yes, sir?” Tanong nito kay Baekhyun.

“Nasaan po ‘yung nagsstay dito?” Baekhyun asked.

_“Kaalis lang po, sir. Nagmamadali nga eh.”_

Ah _. Right._

“Ah, sige po, salamat.”

_Right. Of course._

It didn’t mean anything and last night was _nothing_ apparently. The answer was clear as day, Baekhyun walks down the front deck not really looking back. Agad niyang hinanap sila Kyungsoo, _“Uwi na tayo?”_ He tries not to sound too hurt, but there was a choke at the end of his sentence.

Kyungsoo was confused, but he holds Baekhyun’s hand. Mukhang kailangan niya kasi.

The van ride and the flight wasn’t really the most comfortable. Jongdae and Kyungsoo kept on asking him if he was okay _, of course he is, bakit naman siya magiging hindi okay?_ Nagpanggap na lang siyang tulog at nagpanggap siyang hindi niya narinig na hinatid mismo ni Junmyeon si Chanyeol kanina.

_Right._

Nang makalapag sila sa Maynila ay halos magdidilim na rin, he almost forgot Sehun. Si Sehun na sinabihan siyang susunduin siya as soon as he landed na pabalik ng Maynila. Baekhyun saw Sehun waiting for him, waving and smiling.

Hindi niya mapigilang masaktan, _not for him but for Sehun._

He walks over to him, slowly, dragging his luggage along with him. Sehun gives him a hug, “Wow, hindi amoy chlorine ah,” pagbibiro neto, _“Kumusta?”_

Hindi sumagot si Baekhyun at yumakap lang ulit kay Sehun. _“Hey, what’s wrong?”_ He shakes his head, and tells him that _nothing’s wrong._

He was super quiet on the ride back to his condo. “Are you sure you’re not hungry? Pwede naman tayo mag-early dinner,” sabi neto sa kanya. Again, he shakes his head and said it was okay. Nang maihatid siya ni Sehun hanggang sa parking ng condo niya, ay biglang nagsalita si Baekhyun.

_“Sehun, I’m sorry.”_

Sehun doesn’t say anything, pero ngumiti ito, “What for?”

“For everything.” Ang sagot ni Baekhyun sa kanya.

“You have to be more specific than that, B,” Ang sabi ni Sehun, “What are you apologizing for?”

“For not trying hard enough,” ang nauutal na sabi ni Baekhyun dahil nagpipigil siyang umiyak, “I tried, _you know, I tried_. Pero hindi talaga. And the more that we keep this up, alam kong aasa ka lang. And I know it was selfish nung hinayaan kong maging ganito ang set up natin, with you always being there for me kahit alam mong hindi ko kayang suklian lahat ng ibinibigay mo.”

Sehun shushes him and hugs him, cradling his head papunta sa balikat niya, medyo mahirap lang dahil nasa loob sila ng sasakyan. “It’s okay, B.” bulong niya habang hinahagod ang likod niya, _“I knew what I was getting into, B. Sinisisi mo na naman sarili mo, eh.”_

“I’m sorry,” humihikbing sagot ni Baekhyun, Sehun didn’t mind his collared polo shirt getting wet.

“It’s okay, Baekhyun. Though, I really hoped na baka next week, next month, next year magigising ka na lang na mahal mo na rin ako. But really, it’s okay. I knew how’d things go if we kept this set up, medyo hinanda ko naman ang sarili ko.”

Humigpit lang ang pagkakayakap at kapit ni Baekhyun sa kanya, so he repeats, “It’s okay, Baekhyun. Noon pa man, alam ko na rin namang hindi ko mapapantayan lahat ng ginawa ng ex mo for you, and I know this sounds crazy but I think after ten years hindi ka pa rin nakakamove on kahit ilang beses mo nang cinoconvince sarili mo,” Sehun cradles Baekhyun’s face para titigan ito, “I know you’re going to overthink, hindi mo ako ginawang rebound, B.”

_“Masyado kang mabait,”_ bulong ni Baekhyun.

“Para you’ll feel shitty na hindi mo ako ginawang boyfriend.” Pagbibiro niya, nakita niyang paiyak na naman si Baekhyun kaya binawi niya ito. “I was just kidding, but Baekhyun, I’m still your friend. Okay? Hindi naman tayo magbabago, isa pa, we never really had sex kaya we won’t be awkward around each other. Friends pa rin naman.”

Mahinang hinampas ni Baekhyun si Sehun, “Gago ka,” he says.

“Mas gago ka,” pagbibiro nito ulit sa kanya. Baekhyun nods, “ _You’re right, I am. I’m sorry.”_

It took a few more minutes to console Baekhyun, nagbiro pa nga si Sehun na magpupunta rin siyang Pagudpod at baka maliwanagan din siya kapag nagpunta siya doon, or even better, he’d finally get to meet the person na kayang pantayan ang lahat ng ibibigay niya without even having to ask.

Baekhyun cried a lot that night, and kahit hindi sabihin ni Sehun sa kanya, alam niyang nasaktan niya si Sehun. Kahit naman hindi sabihin ni Sehun sa kanya, naramdaman niya yun. That was not the nicest thing he’s done, hindi niya alam kung paano babawi. But a text was sent to him na galing kay Sehun, _“Huwag mo na isipin paano bumawi sakin, promise mo na lang you’ll be better not for anyone, but for yourself.”_

Baekhyun laughs at himself dahil sa pagiging miserable niya. And kahit nasaktan niya si Sehun, basang basa pa rin siya neto. With blurry eyes and an aching heart, he managed to grab his laptop to delete the file he was working on for the whole trip.

He opens a new empty document to start over.

_He’s going to start over._

Baekhyun resigned after he submitted his last screenplay script sa boss niya not know how it would become such a hit after ng showing neto sa cinema. He never really paid much attention, he went to the theatres to watch the movie he’s written and went out with a much more broken heart kaysa noong pumasok siya.

The movie was a hit dahil sa mga batuhan ng linyang tumatagos, and kung tatanungin niyo: hindi. Hindi ito kwento ni Baekhyun at ni Chanyeol. Ito ay kwento ni Sehun, making Baekhyun’s character in this narrative the antagonist.

Much deserved naman.

Sehun deserved better, ‘no. He gave Sehun a love interest, isang taong hindi tulad ni Baekhyun.

He still meets Sehun from time to time, _si gago_ , pumunta talagang Pagudpod at nagbakasyon. Baekhyun was sure na hindi niya nakwento kay Sehun ang pretty boy na bartender, pero halos iyon na ang bukambibig ni Sehun sa kanya.

He was happy for Sehun, tinutulungan pa niya magschedule ng vacation leaves si Sehun… because that’s what friends do. Hindi lang makapaghintay si Baekhyun kung paano magbblossom ang pagiibigan ng isang Manila Boy at isang Local na mula pagkabata raw ay lumaki na sa tabi ng dagat.

_Oh, nabanggit ba niyang Chanyeol has been constantly texting him that they should talk?_ Hindi niya kasi sinasagot, but sometimes when he’s half functioning at when he’s being a slob at home… masyadong tempting ang answer button sa tuwing tinatawagan siya ni Chanyeol.

Kahit si Sehun, ang pinakalugi sa lahat nang ito, iisa lang ang sinasabi. _Talk to him._

“I’m sorry,” yakap sa kanay ni Kyungsoo, “Hiningi niya kasi number mo, so ang tagal kong hindi binibigay, ayaw niyo sabihin sakin kung bakit! Malay ko bang ibibigay din naman pala ni Jongdae!”

Baekhyun ignores Kyungsoo at kinuha ang hawak nitong popcorn bowl, “Okay lang,” he says.

“Ano ba kasing nangyari sa Ilocos?”

_“Wala,”_ Baekhyun says to him, “Although, that trip made me realize how shitty I was to Sehun, hindi niyo man lang ako sinasabihang ganon na yung nangyayare sakin. Pwede mo naman akong iuntog, or anything!”

“Tanga, ilang beses na kitang sinasabihan pero ayaw mong makinig sa akin!” Magsasalita pa sana si Kyungsoo kaso nagring na naman ang phone ni Baekhyun. At dahil mainit na ang ulo ni Kyungsoo dahil ayaw magsalita ni Baekhyun, sinagot niya ang tawag sa phone ni Baekhyun.

Pinindot lang naman niya ang answer button at pwersahang itinapat ang telepono sa tenga ni Baekhyun _. “Baekhyun? Oh my god, you picked up! Listen, can we talk? Please?”_

It’s September, just the day kapag Ber months na— Christmas lights were set up almost everywhere dahil _pasko na naman_ kahit tatlong buwan pa. It was the perfect day to set the mood for a special occasion but not like this one. Sandamakmak na ang mga pekeng bulaklak na pulang posettia, mapakanan at kaliwa. _Ugh._

Oh, yeah, dahil kay Kyungsoo… pwersahang nakipag usap si Baekhyun kay Chanyeol. Chanyeol wanted them to talk in person kahit anong pilit ni Baekhyun na sa telepono na lang ay ayaw niya. God, if he was planning another heartbreak sana sinapak na lang niya si Baekhyun sa lalamunan.

Baekhyun stands awkwardly in front of the M&S store na katabi ng Starbucks kung saan sila nag-usap na magkikita. It was raining, sabi rin kasi ni Chanyeol saglit lang sila, kaya hindi an siya pumasok. Kung may sasabihin siya, sabihin niya na agad.

Kaya nung makita siya ni Chanyeol na nakatayo ay agad siyang niyakap neto, “Baekhyun,” he says habang mahigpit niyang niyakap sa bisig niya si Baekhyun. “I’m so sorry.”

Hindi nagsalita si Baekhyun.

“Ang dami kong narealize nung nasa Ilocos tayo,” he says na panimula, “And I won’t even make this long, all I wanted to say is… _ten years and it’s still you.”_ Kinuha ni Chanyeol ang kamay niyang hindi nakahawak sa payong, “And I’m sorry for lying, every song I made ikaw ang nasa isip ko, I’m sorry we let this happen, and I’m sorry for not getting out of the car the day we broke up, hindi mo alam kung gaano ko gustong bumaba para habulin ka, yakapin ka, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun remembers, para siyang ibinalik sa araw nung naghiwalay sila. Pareho nila gustong habulin ang isa’t-isa.

“And?” Baekhyun tries so hard not to let any of his emotions take over him.

_“And I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”_

Baekhyun shakes his head, “Pero iniwan mo ako nung last day ko sa Ilocos, remember?”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he says, “Pero hindi kita iniwan, sumama ako kay Junmyeon may hinanap ako. Pero pagbalik namin, nakaalis na kayo nila Jongdae. Sinubukan naman kitang habulin, but my flight wasn’t scheduled for another six hours.”

Chanyeol searches his pockets at inilabas ang isang araw na gawa sa salamin, it was tiny, enough to be a keychain. Dilaw ito at kumikinang against the warm yellow street lights. “Remember this? When we watched the sunrise? Sabi mo gusto mong iuwi,” he says.

_God, Chanyeol’s still so stupid._

Pinromise ni Baekhyun na hindi niya hahayaang ang emotions niya ang magtakeover pero hindi niya na kinaya. He drops the umbrella he was holding para hawakan ang mga pisngi ni Chanyeol bago ito hinalikan.

Agad siyang hinagkan ni Chanyeol, in the middle of where they were standing. Not really minding ang mga matang nakatingin sa kanilang dalawa. “Tanga mo,” Baekhyun whispers against his lips. Hinagkan siya ni Chanyeol at inilagay niya nag ulo niya sa dibdib ni Chanyeol. _“Ang tanga mo.”_ He repeats this time but mostly… to himself.

Timing nga naman.

_Timing na naman_. 

_It’s crazy._ It’s crazy how one night could make you realize how unprepared you are for the feelings that will resurface, no matter how much you try to put it at the back of your head, how you absent-mindedly instilled that you’ve let the right person walk away?

Pero paano naman if you cross paths with this _right_ person once again? Of course, there will always be questions like the _what if_ ’s na hindi ka patutulugin sa gabi… like, whether second chances are possible. But what if the second goodbye hurts as much as the first one?

Paano kung hindi na naman sumang ayon ang timing? Ang timing na ilang beses na silang pinaglaruan countless times on different occasions? Para bang gumagawa na talaga ng paraan or them not to be together.

It’s true, timing is messy. Ilang beses na ba silang nagkasalisi sa mga desisyon nilang dalawa kahit noon pa man?

Timing is always imperfect dahil hindi naman lahat ng oras it would be good.

“Oh no!” Baekhyun pouts habang bitbit ang paperbag na may lamang pagkain nung sinalubong siya ni Chanyeol sa pintuan wearing an apron, he was obviously cooking. “Sabi ko ako na sa food!”

Chanyeol was confused, “No, sabi ko _ako na_ sa food.”

It was their wine night, their usual Friday night kung saan manonood lang sila ng documentaries na hindi naman nila natatapos dahil, let’s be real, they’ll probably end up asleep tangled up in each other’s arms… o kaya naman minsan ang mga lumang pelikulang isinulat ni Baekhyun.

“Wine night na walang wine?” Baekhyun laughs as he makes his way inside of Chanyeol’s apartment. “Gusto mo, ako na lang, I’ll make a run for it na lang may malapit namang grocery.”

Timing is _inconsistent_ dahil hindi rin naman lahat ng oras, it will it be bad either.

Chanyeol shakes his head ang hugs Baekhyun instead, “We can drink coffee, or tea, kahit anong gusto mo. Let’s make this work?”

Baekhyun smiles, “Ginger peach tea?” he asks Chanyeol.

Tumango si Chanyeol sa kanya, “Kahit ano pang gusto ng baby ko.”

Timing is a bitch.

Pero ang totoo n’yan, there will always be people who will make the timing right.

_“Kiss,”_ Chanyeol leans down habang nakayakap kay Baekhyun. Baekhyun looks up and pouts his lips, Chanyeol gives it a peck... mga tatlo. Or lima.

What if the second goodbye hurts as much as the first one? Isa lang naman ang sagot, edi huwag mong hayaang magkaroon ng pangalawang pagkakataon para magkaroon ng panibagong pagpapaalam.

And even if it took Chanyeol and Baekhyun ten years to realize how much they’ve lost, at least they found their way back… _pabalik sa isa’t-isa._

  
  


Because… love isn’t perfect, nor is it rainbows and butterflies all the time. It doesn’t always start like what the movies tell you.

Maybe love was knowing how to make things work when they won’t… maybe love was like compromising wine nights into skincare and tea nights.

Tulad na lang nila, just two soulmates who finally met again after long, long years of finding each other _in the same lifetime_. Picking up where they left off sa huli nilang pagkakataon and then from there— it became Baekhyun _and_ Chanyeol… _again._

Because soulmates make the hard times easier, embracing all of you and all that you are.

And because soulmates will also embrace all that you are not, and all that you’ll never be.

Because, _love._

Sehun lied. Naiwan talaga si Baekhyun! Sehun got married not long after mabalitaang ikinasal na rin si Kyungsoo at Jongin… but that’s okay. Because Baekhyun, at thirty five still looks amazing in his all white linen overalls habang naglalakad sa kapirasong pulang tela na inilagay sa buhangin… pero mas gwapo pa rin si Chanyeol na nasa dulo ng nilalakaran niya, so fuck it.

He runs.

Chanyeol catches him as soon as Baekhyun ran into his arms.

Father, kanya na ‘to ha? Wala nang bawian. 

Sino may sabing ayaw ni Baekhyun sa weddings? Nagbago na isip niya ulit. He loves weddings.

_Especially this one._

_This one is his favorite._

**_FIN._ **

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if it felt rushed... honestly I just want to write this pero hindi ko alam paano, gets niyo ba? Sana gets niyo ako.I would've made this na hindi sila magkakatuluyan sa dulo, because not all break ups ay deserve ang isang comeback. Mas maganda sigurong hanggang dun na lang talaga ang dulo. Char? Namersonal? Relate si bhie?
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! (PS, sorry if I turned the comments off for unregistered users, natatakot kasi ako sa anonymous comments *much like CC entries* haha, I've been so demotivated lately baka magspiral tayo pababa kapag may nabasa tayong hindi maganda haha. I love you all. Thank you so much!! Kiss ko kayo ang daldal ko sorry, feeling ko kasi kailangan ko magpaliwanag???)
> 
> Again, please take care of yourselves. Thank you for reading (again!!) Would love to see your comments and reactions tungkol sa fic. Tweet me, tag me! Love na love ko si Sehun dito :(


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